Interview With Asia Carrera – Successful Aspie and Mother

Today, I am posting an interview with Asia Carrera. I must apologize to Asia in advance. I did not know anything about you ahead of time, only that you were a friend of a friend, and that you have Asperger’s Syndrome. Please forgive me for not recognizing your name.

Maxine Owen: Thank you, Asia, for joining us on my blog.
Hi Maxine :o)

Maxine Owen: You are an adult Aspie. Could you tell us if you were diagnosed as an adult or as a child? Did you always feel that something was different about you?
I have never been formally diagnosed.  It wasn’t until my son was diagnosed that I realized what was “wrong” with me, my dad, and my two brothers.  All the males in my family, and lucky me, I’m the only girl who got it.  I’ve always been known for being eccentric, if not downright difficult to deal with about certain things, and it’s a relief to finally know why.

Maxine Owen: Your two brothers and your father have Asperger’s, how did you discover that this was the case?
We’re all friggin’ weird, LOL!!  Basically all of us would rather be on a computer, communicating via a computer, than dealing with any human beings.  All of us.  Personally, my phone has the ringer turned off, and my doorbell is disengaged, but I check email and Facebook a million times a day.  I don’t do people, and neither does my father, 2 brothers, or my son.  We’re all wired the same way.  We’ll even IM each each other if we’re sitting in the same room.

Maxine Owen: Your mother and your sister don’t have Asperger’s Syndrome. Have you ever felt at a disadvantage to them, or do you feel that you might have received a hidden blessing?
No disadvantage at all.  Every advantage.  Being Aspie comes with the blessing of IQ points that I would not trade for anything.  I can deal with being eccentric.  I would not like to give up any of my brains, which I consider my “secret weapon”  LOL!

Maxine Owen: Your son has Asperger’s, but your daughter does not. Did you feel relieved to discover that she did not have any “quirks”?
Well I had my daughter first, so I had nothing to compare her to, especially not knowing what Asperger’s was at that point.  She is out of this world smart, with none of the quirks, and now that I have my son to compare her to (he’s only one year younger but far, far younger in maturity), I realize that she’s the only one of us with a social life, PLUS being gifted.  She is a very, very lucky little girl.  On the boards for moms of gifted kids that I belong to, high IQs go hand in hand with overexcitabilities, quirks, difficulties in other areas – everything I’ve experienced with my son, and none of it with my daughter.  I don’t know how she escaped the high-IQ curse, haha!

Maxine Owen: You recently gave birth to another son. How much does a possible Asperger’s diagnosis weigh on your mind?
I was worried I would have a boy, and then heartbroken when I found out it was indeed a boy.  I can’t tell if he’s an Aspie yet, but odds are good that he will be, so we’ll have to deal with it as it comes.  It definitely makes life more difficult for the parent as well as the child.

Maxine Owen: As a female Aspie with male Aspie relatives, you have seen both sides of the situation. What, if any, do you think are the differences in the ways that Asperger’s presents itself in the male gender vs. the female gender?
I actually find that I respond like a male to almost every situation.  All the classic ways that males and females handle relationships differently – I’m the male.  I’m the only female Aspie I know, so I only have a pool of one to draw on here.  But I find that I don’t relate well to women and their small talk, gossip, emotional reactions to things – they don’t make sense to me, or have any appeal for me.  I’d rather hang out with a bunch of geeky guys and have a fragfest.

Maxine Owen: Females seem to have an easier time mimicking “normal” behavior. Do you think that this is because females spend more time observing the ins and outs of social behaviors?
 I CAN mimic normal behavior, but it requires a lot of effort on my part.  I’m like a computer struggling to simulate and recreate what I see others doing and it’s stressful for me.  I avoid social situations whenever possible.

Maxine Owen:
What career path(s) have you chosen in the past or the present?
Oy vey, did someone pay you to ask me this, or are you just being funny?  *awkward pause* …I’m Asia Carrera, retired pornstar and veteran of over 300 XXX films.  AKA “The World’s Smartest Pornstar”, or the “Mensa Pornstar”.  I made the divergence of  brains and looks my claim to fame.  I also was the first pornstar to run her own website 100% alone and I maintained a huge cyberpresence instead of doing public appearances or feature dancing.  You can wikipedia me to find out more.

Maxine Owen: Do you think your Asperger’s has helped or hindered your life goals?
It wound up being the reason I was so famous.  I was the go-to person when the mainstream media wanted a XXX person to talk to during sweeps weeks, and I was the mascot for Tech TV, G4 the Gaming Network, the Geek Squad, the Unreal Tournament team, and many others.  I had special on the E! channel, I was featured in the Wall Street Journal… blah blah blah.  As an Aspie I was terrified of people, but my IQ made it easy for me to spew out sound bites and give the media what they wanted for over a decade.

Maxine Owen: How are your interpersonal relationships as an adult? Are they easier or more challenging?
I was widowed at 32, and I’m still single at 38 now.  I think I will probably stay single.  It’s just easier for me.  I’m very busy raising my three kids, and that’s perfectly fulfilling for me.  I don’t need a husband to deal with on top of everything else I’m juggling.  I have a 7 yr old, a 5 yr old, and a 2 week old baby by sperm donor.  My plate is full!

Maxine Owen: Thank you for joining us here, and for shedding some light onto some deeper parts of the Aspie experience.
You’re welcome!

A couple of side notes from me (Maxine): Having one child with Asperger’s, even one of the same gender, does not necessarily mean that the others will have it. I have 4 children. Two are boys, two are girls. Only the youngest boy has it.

Second: I wish to express my thanks to Rachel Kusama, a friend, and a successful Aspie. Thanks for setting up this interview for me.


Posted on June 22, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Thank you Maxine for sharing this valuable interview here. Am a big fan and admirer of Asia Carrera. She is an idol for me. Sad to know that she is an aspie. But very happy to know that she is still travelling the path of Happiness. Even while reading this page, I can see her smile!!

  2. g-d bless –tht’s all i can say—be strong

    • You make a good point, Glenn. It takes strength to get through such a trying thing as a form of Autism.
      No matter who a person is, or if they have traveled a path that you would have chosen for yourself, sometimes it’s just about surviving and becoming a stronger person.

  3. This blog post sometimes receives negative comments about my interview subject. These comments are rude and unkind. I know that everyone has a right to their opinion, but I have the right to refuse to post those negative comments.
    My interview subject took time out of her schedule, and risked negative responses, in order to give an insider’s view into Asperger’s Autistm. It is not for me or anyone else to judge whether or not she really has Asperger’s Autism, or why she has made the choices that she has made.
    I did not post this interview to pass judgment on her, and I would appreciate it if no one else did so either. If you do not respect my interview subject, please at least show me the respect of keeping negative comments to yourself.
    I posted with an open heart and an open mind. As you can tell, I did not know ahead of time what her previous occupation was, or where her life had led her. When I learned of it, I still chose to post the blog. Her experience is no less important than any other Aspie.

  4. I’ve known Asia since before Cattie was born. She’s a dear dear person with a big heart. She is very different, quirky, eccentric, bright; and I’m so glad to see she has found an Asperperger’s support group. Like I said, she’s different – and she’s not always going to be ‘different’ in the way you, I, or others want her to be. She hears her own drummer. So forbear, and keep your comments realistic and positive.

    Also, people don’t know it but she’s a good photographer. She fed my interest in photography years ago and taught me photoshop fundamentals by critique. Online, of course. 🙂

    • I “met” Asia through a mutual friend, as we did this interview. Our mutual friend is also an Aspie. My son, of course, is an Aspie too.
      I mention these facts to make clear my open heart toward Asia, and Aspies in general.
      Since our interview, we have become Facebook friends. I check out what she posts as I scroll through the posts of my other friends. She has a good heart. She raises her children to have a wonderful sense of self. They are encouraged to realize that they can conquer the world, if they so desire.
      Yes, she marches to the beat of a different drummer. But, what Aspie doesn’t?
      One or two negative comments have come in for my approval since I posted this interview. They were offensive and hurtful toward her. I have refused to post them.
      She was kind enough to do an interview with me. I will not allow her to be attacked on my blog.

  5. I think she’s brave to still be in the public eye, albeit it to a minor extent, as she will always have to deal with her past as a stigma. It’s sad to hear that she eventually gave up the third child mentioned in the interview for adoption, but I hope she can help others who struggle with aspergers or depression (which she also suffers from) through talking about it publicly.

  6. I feel better about being female Aspie now that I know an ex-pornstar is one too

    • Asia has come a long way since then. She is a loving and supportive mother of 2. She is going through college, and doing very well in her studies.

      I believe this shows that Aspies can, indeed, adapt and grow – in spite of all assumptions to the contrary.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: