Lies I told Myself

Anyone who has ever struggled with their weight knows that we often tell ourselves little lies and make up secret rules. We don’t tell others about this thought process. It would surely be too humiliating. 

We also come up with little ways to hide the overeating that we have done. We are very creative in this endeavor. Our ability to hide these little secrets would make a spy proud.

Here are just a few of the little unspoken rules:

  1. If no one saw us eat it, it never happened.
  2. If we eat our cookies with skim milk, we have made a healthy choice.
  3. If we buy a diet soda with our fast food meal, it won’t be so bad.
  4. If we eat very quickly, we won’t feel bad about it afterward. Plus, if we aren’t caught in this process, rule one applies.
  5. Doughnut holes have no calories.
  6. If I eat 8 cookies and walk a mile, it’s okay. My health won’t be effected. 
  7. Those little broken chips in the bottom of the bag don’t count as calorie intake; they’re too small.
  8. That skinny girl probably doesn’t have to work out or eat healthy at all. Life’s not fair! *Truth: She probably only indulges from time to time. It is easier to maintain the same size than to lose the weight to get there.
  9. It’s not my fault! I’ve been heavy my whole life! I was meant to be this size. I have no control over it! *Truth: Your choices to eat junk, large portions, and minimal or no exercise have made you what you are. No one is born 200-300 pounds.
  10. Mixing multiple entrees only counts as one entree. If you stir it up on your plate, you have only eaten one thing. 
  11. My salad is still healthy, even if I am putting all of this dressing and bacon bits on it. 
  12. Eating ice cream is good for me, because it has vitamin D and Calcium in it, so I have made another good choice. 
  13. If I hide all of the wrappers, no one will know that I eat badly. *Truth: Whatever you do inside of your body shows up on the outside.
  14. Fruit toppings are okay, because I’m still eating fruit. *Truth: The sugar/fat in the topping took away the benefits of eating fruit.

 

More Deceptions: 

  1. Moving the cookies around in the package so that it looks like there are more. This is to hide that we have eaten half a package of cookies in one sitting
  2. Cutting a slice of cake, then moving the others a little, so that no one notices a tiny piece is missing
  3. “Sampling” cookies that we have just baked, strictly for the purposes of “quality control”
  4. Buying junk at the store, scarfing it down, and then taking out the trash, so that no one notices the junk food wrappers
  5. Stopping for fast food when we’re alone, and then stopping at a gas station to throw away the evidence
  6. Filling the Easter Baskets or Christmas stockings, and eating all of the “odd numbered” junk. For instance, if you have three kids and four peeps, you may eat the fourth peep, just so it doesn’t go to waste. 

 

There are probably a lot of examples that I have missed, but you get the idea. I understand this battle and this mode of thinking very well. I have done or thought most of them.

I know what it is like to look into the mirror and cry. I have actually eaten junk and cried at the same time. 

It’s a sort of addiction, but one which most people don’t recognize. If someone is loading up on beer and falling over everything, people may see that as a problem. If they are smoking weed and missing work frequently, people may see that as a problem. 

People tend to overlook the overweight man or woman right in front of them, unless they are making fun of them or looking down on them. These people need to have their heart checked. Not the overweight person, but the person who makes fun of them. 

Instead of putting them down, it would be more helpful to reach down and help them up. Lift their spirits, offer to walk with them, be a friend. If you’re not helping that person, at least don’t add to their misery.

I know from experience that no one can say anything to an overweight person that the person hasn’t said to themselves. At the end of the day, we still have to face ourselves. When the house is quiet and no one is around, how we really feel about ourselves comes out.

To those who are still struggling, I say don’t use the behavior of others as an excuse. You can’t let the approval of others, or the lack thereof, dictate what you do for yourself. Stop medicating with food; it only leaves you empty and depressed afterward. 

It won’t happen all at once, but the health will come, if you take the first step. After that, take another step, and then a few more. Push yourself a little more on a regular basis. This isn’t about how others see you; it’s about how you feel when you really examine yourself.

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Posted on February 12, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Reblogged this on Wendy Reis Editing and commented:
    Most of us have done this, if we are honest. Honest with ourselves. You don’t have to admit to anyone else. I have met the enemy. Ta da!

    • Sometimes it’s harder to be honest with ourselves than we would like to admit. The truth is beneath it all, just waiting to be examined, but we avoid it, for fear that we will feel bad afterward, or have to make a change in our lives.

  2. Thank you! I have reblogged it.

  3. Another is: If it’s broken it has fewer calories.

    • Isn’t it funny what we can talk ourselves into? For instance, we say, “It’s a low calorie cookie. I can eat twice as many.” By the time we’re done, we have ingested just as many calories as we would have done with the full calorie kind of snack.

  4. Amazing girl! I love this and truly relate to it!! Thank you for sharing!

    • It takes courage sharing like this. But, if we don’t share our deepest selves, including the parts that we usually leave in the dark, how can we be truly honest with ourselves or others?
      I want to say, “This is who and what I am. I’m working on it, but I’m no longer hiding it.”

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