Do I Have to Bring out the Mama Bear?

Nothing brings out the mama bear in a woman like someone messing with her child or the innocent child of another woman. If you threaten our children in any way, you had better be willing to fight, because we’re coming out with teeth bared and claws out.

The recent comments of my son’s van driver have weighed heavily on my mind. When he mentioned wanting to grab a child on that van, something in me awoke in a nasty mood. It has been slowly burning inside of me ever since.

Things that he has said in the past have gotten my attention and made me worry. His overall attitude sucks. 

He is the only driver we have ever worried about. The others have been marvelous. I have serious doubts about his heart for working with Autistic children. 

He seems to think that all he has to do is drive the kids back and forth to school, and that he shouldn’t be expected to keep the peace as well. It may work that way with the average child, but not with Autistic children. They have their issues with one another (if they can speak), just like any other child. They get stuck on wanting things to be a certain way. When patterns get changed, they get upset. 

The same night that the driver mentioned wanting to grab that other child, I asked Cameron, “Is your driver nice to  you?”

He replied, “When I talk, he tells me to be quiet. When I talk to him, he doesn’t listen. When I sing, he yells at me.”

The combination of these events was the last straw. I contacted the Special Education Coordinator, who told me that I must contact the Transportation Coordinator for our school district. She gave me a name and I called.

I told the lady about all of the events that have been happening. I voiced my concerns. She took me seriously. She said that she would be contacting the driver’s boss, and that someone would be getting back to me very soon.

Within a few hours, the man’s boss called me. I told him all that had happened. He heard me out. He suggested a meeting between myself, the driver, himself, and the Transportation Coordinator.

He said he wanted to see everyone’s body language, not have a “He said, she said.” He said, “I don’t want to fire him without at least giving him a chance.”

He also said that maybe the driver didn’t understand some things about Autistic children, and that he himself didn’t know a whole lot. I thought, “I tried to tell him, but he said he didn’t want to hear it.”

I agreed to a meeting, which he is attempting to set up for tonight or possibly Monday night after work. Meanwhile, I have a lot of thoughts going through my mind, things I want to say to the driver. 

I don’t like conflict, but when it comes to my children, I bring out a side of myself that is rarely seen. I almost hope the meeting is set up for tonight, so that I am mentally prepared to be more forceful if I need to be. 

If the mama bear needs to make an appearance, it will happen. If a calmer attitude will get more accomplished, I will go that route. I will do whatever is necessary to ensure the safety of all of those innocent children.

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Posted on October 26, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Hopefully this meeting will resolve the issue. I am a firm believer that people who drive a bus for children with special needs should be educated on their needs, or the conditions etc.
    Ok they are a bus driver, but if they drive that route even just once as a cover, they should have to have had at least a basic level of ‘training’ before being allowed to do so.

    Good luck Maxine, I am sure you will sort it out.

    • Thank you, Alex. I appreciate your support.
      The boss said that he wouldn’t have hired the guy if he thought even for an instant that he would have an anger problem. He still seems doubtful, and seems to be looking for other explanations for the driver’s behavior.
      I told him that I too had looked for other reasons to explain the behavior. The first time, I tried to put it down to a bad day. However, I stayed alert and ready to respond, just in case.

  2. Any bus driver should strive to maintain the peace, safety and well being of all the children! The kids are not going to sit and be quiet on any bus. Understanding the children that you have in your care is the first and top priority! Or it should be! And allowing any child to bully or taunt another is never acceptable, I have went through that myself this year and so far seem to have it under control! Hang in there and if Momma Bear has to come out, bring her out!

  3. Thank you, Rhonda. As mothers, we will do anything that we have to do in order to make things okay for our children. If we would jump in front of a bus for our child, going to bat for them is a much smaller requirement.

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