Forethought Seems to be Missing
Someone once said, “Hindsight explains the injury that foresight would have prevented.” This quote is self-explanatory.
My little Aspie doesn’t seem to have foresight yet, but this may come with age and experience. A conversation this morning made this clear to me.
Cameron: “Mommy, I found my soda from yesterday! It was on the back porch!”
Clearly, his excitement centered around his intent to drink it. I needed to cut him off at the pass.
Me: “Does it still have soda in it?”
Cameron: “Yes, it still has some in it!” Very excited, as if he has found buried treasure.
Me: “Well, I hope you didn’t drink it.”
Cameron: “Why? It was on the back porch and still has soda in it.” Clearly, still not convinced.
Me: “Because, there could be ants in it. Ants like sugar.”
Cameron: “I don’t see any ants in it.”
Me: “Well, they could have gone in there. It could be yucky.”
Cameron: “Well, it doesn’t look yucky.”
Me: “Well, it might still be yucky.”
Cameron: “But it’s not.”
Me (slightly impatient): “Well, it might be yucky, and you can’t see it.”
Cameron (slightly irritated): “But it’s not.”
Me: “Just bring it in and throw it away.”
Clearly, there is a gap between what could happen and what is happening. He doesn’t yet have the ability to think a couple of steps ahead when it comes to unknown consequences.
For instance: He knows that if he gets mad and throws his toys in anger, he will be scolded and put on time out. This is an established pattern of action and consequence. However, he might not realize that if he sticks his hand into the hole in the back yard, he might get bitten by something. In his mind, since it has never happened, it won’t happen.
With this in mind, I must be careful that I always explain the bad thing that could happen if he performs a certain action. I do not always know if I have gotten through to him. Sometimes, that is only revealed when he makes the better decision.